Bands/Artists Who Should Consider Throwing In the Towel

Recently, I heard a new song by one of my favorite bands, Iron Maiden. I got wind that new material from their forthcoming album could be streamed online, so of course, I was interested. I had a listen, and found the song to be very underwhelming and lacking the teeth that their older material had. My first thought after hearing the song was 'these guys need to retire.'

I began thinking about other bands and artists who I think have hung around too long.

Here, I have compiled a list of bands and artists who, based on musical content, touring activity, and gaps between albums, should disband or retire.


Iron Maiden - The group that got the juices flowing for this one. Iron Maiden have been around for over 30 years. One of the original members of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal scene, they went on to have huge worldwide success (one of the few bands from that scene to do so). They made their bones in the 80's, making album after album full of fierce riffs, operatic vocals, clever songwriting, and top-notch musicianship.

In the new millennium, their music has sounded exactly like what it is....old men playing metal. The material lacks freshness, energy, and doesn't have the same sharp riffs that their older material had. The band remains a huge touring attraction, but the best parts of their shows are the classics. No mas.


AC/DC - Formed in Australia by brothers Malcolm and Angus Young in 1973, AC/DC have written some of the greatest songs in rock n' roll. With the help of producer Mutt Lange, the band made on of the greatest records of all time, Back in Black. This record vaulted them to the moon, and went on to become the second best selling record in history.

The case I will make here is similar to the one I made for Iron Maiden. The recent albums don't have the bite of their golden era.

What makes this case different is the time between new records. Black Ice, released in 2008, was the band's first offering of new material in eight years. Connected to this is their lack of activity on the touring circuit during the sabbatical. Were they protesting the Bush Presidency? This time frame says two things. One, they are out of ideas. Two (and I hope like hell this isn't the case), their hearts are just not into making music anymore. I think it's time to retire the schoolboy outfit, Angus.

Ozzy Osbourne - At one time, this guy was a god in the metal business. One of the original members of Black Sabbath, he helped create heavy metal with his dark lyrical content on the band's first few records. Kicked out for partying too much in the late 70's, he went on to have a successful solo career, writing some of the greatest numbers in the the history of the genre.

This is a trifecta of terrible. Artistically, his music has become too generic-sounding. The new material simply isn't special or memorable. Activity-wise, he takes a long time between records, and has dramatically scaled back the touring. For his upcoming record, the plans are for him to do a regular tour. If my years of going to Ozzfest have taught me anything, it's that even if he's booked, he may cancel if he's not feeling well. Ozzy is in his 60's. I anticipate a lot of unhappy fans.

What separates this case is his public image. Ozzy used to be looked at as this bad-ass hell hound. The reality show he was in with his family killed that image, showing sides of him that made him look cuddly and cute. His wife/manager strategically did this to make him more accessible to non-metal fans. Ozzy Osbourne is not for everybody, and that's why he is unconditionally loved by his fans. He's our guy, the flag-bearer for rebellion in a world full of prim and proper squares.

Another image killer is the lawsuit he brought against former Black Sabbath bandmate Tony Iommi. Iommi, who owns the Black Sabbath name, was sued for 50% interest in the "Black Sabbath" trademark, along with profits he made from use of the name. Ozzy Osbourne, in addition to being a symbol of rebellion, is a bit f a working class hero. Growing up in Birmingham, England, he came from a meager upbringing. Osbourne himself feels that his background is partly why fans love him, because he knows what it's like to live from paycheck to paycheck, and sometimes on a prayer. Ozzy is extremely wealthy. Why does he need more money? While the suit was settled, this kills any image of him being a working class hero. Instead, it makes him look like a money-grubbing vulture who filed this suit only after Black Sabbath became a big-time attraction again.



In conclusion, I realize that the men in these bands are older now. I realize people change over the years. These men are in a different place in their lives now. Most have families, and have grown past the whole'18 and Angry' shtick. That doesn't mean the music has to stink.